A joke, yes. We will laugh in the car.
| Government Professionals’ Meeting Term | Actual Meaning |
| Agenda | A reason to have a meeting; no topic on the agenda, other than “Introduction,” really gets discussed. |
| Deliverable | Something promised but never delivered. |
| Action Item | New work for somebody not in the meeting. |
| Subject Matter Expert (SME) | Some idiot that showed interest in something. |
| Next Steps | Excuses for more meetings |
| Bug Report | Deliverable |
| Metric | An attempt to prove you haven’t done shit. |
| Task Plan | Categorization of work that will never get done |
| Holiday | Any day a government employee doesn’t show up. |
| User Expectation | Promises made but damn lies. |
| Titties | Big juicy jugs you can stare at during meetings. |
| Support | Good money after bad. |
| User Interface | A computer. |
| Going on Record | A refusal to do something. |
| Agree to Disagree | You are full of shit. |
| Conscious Decision | I just woke up, what was that? I second it! |
| Office Closure | Holiday. |
| Slide Deck | 85 reused presentation charts that get ignored. |
| Meeting Break | An excuse to leave. |
| Schedule | Minutes until time to go home |
