- The delicious Mexican snacks called "flautas" are probably named that because they're shaped like flutes.
- Putting the remote control on top of the TV defeats the purpose of having a remote control.
- Humans are the only animals that pay taxes and crap their pants.
- I forgot to close my tab last night and left my ATM card at the bar.
- If Abu Hamza is ever detained and questioned about his role in terrorist acts, "interrogating the one-eyed cleric" will be a popular euphemism for whacking off.
- I don't think I've never heard a rap song with the word "terrific" in it.
- Dudes are all, "A billion dollars laid end-to-end would reach from the earth to the moon." But that would be really fucking stupid, because as soon as the money reached beyond the earth's atmosphere it would just float around willy-nilly in space. It's your money to waste if you want to lay it end-to-end into the sky, but I'd invest it instead.