A joke, yes. We will laugh in the car.
| Event | Official Vegas odds |
| Eminem's "Lose Yourself" being used in an NCAA tournament montage. | 1:1 |
| Soon it will cost me $50 to fill my car's gas tank (with gas). | 3:1 |
| George W. Bush gives daughter Jenna 48 seconds to exile herself from White House bathroom before he comes in there and "drops a bomb". | 5:1 |
| War imitates the Ryder Cup: U.S. vs. Rest of the World, winner take all. | 6:1 |
| The Hong Kong mystery disease just ends up being rickets. Plain-old, standard-issue rickets. | 8:1 |
| U.S. is attacked by terrorists due to ABC's decision to postpone Barbara Walters's Academy Awards special. | 9:1 |
| Saddam Hussein surrenders due to horrific paper-cut caused by air-dropped leaflet. | 10:1 |
| Ice Cube, George Clooney, Spike Jonze return to Iraq and make off with the gold bullion. | 12:1 |
| The Cleveland Cavaliers' Ricky Davis is deployed to Iraq and shoots self in leg in an attempt to be awarded a Purple Heart. | 14:1 |
| Sometime in the next 7 months, the world gets completely blown the fuck up. | 18:1 |
