Guest Freshmilk: Celebrity WatchToday's submission comes to the mailbag from Lief Grosch-Jackson, a good friend and all around funnyman currently residing in Seattle. Here it goes:
This afternoon I was in dowtown Seattle at a cooking store, Sur La Table. I went there to pick up a skillet I've been wanting to buy and it turns out that the only one they had was the display, which was banged to shit, so I decided to look around the store a bit while I was there. There are a small few aisles of French table linens, napkins, etc...I thought I'd get something small for Ann. I was going from the first linen aisle to the middle one and there was a bald, greyhaired older guy talking to one of the girls who worked there standing in my way. So I said excuse me and squeezed by the guy and was overpowered by the ripe smell of someone who had been boozing for a LONG TIME, the stench was fucking staggering. I murmered 'Holy Fuck' under my breath and just then the guy starts going off on this girl, "The woman told me they were going to be coming in THIS WEEK. Yes, that's right! She told me TEN PALLETTES were coming in this week. uh huh. Absolutely I'd like to talk to the manager..." Just then another customer, a woman, exclaims, "I watched you on TV when I was having labor pains and it really helped!" I peeked around the corner and it took me about 10 seconds to realize who it was. It was the fucking Frugal Gourmet! I looked at the guy and said "Are you who I think you are?" and, after he gave the woman a business card "for her scrapbook" he said "Yes, who are you?!" So I talked to the old pedophile for a minute, indulged him by saying he got me interested in cooking as a kid, and he cracked a few lame jokes about my name and that was that. My celebrity sighting for the weekend. That dude has been on a serious bender since they kicked him off PBS. Older, a little puffier, and sweet Christ....that smell! He was very gracious to me ('cause he wanted to hump me???) but my overall impression was that he is an alkie and a bona fide loudmouthed asshole.
Signed "Gentleman Meets Grill"
