A joke, yes. We will laugh in the car.
| Captain Heinous Quotes | Official Vegas odds | Bet | Payout | Running Total |
| "Hey Baby, can I buy you a drink?" | 1-1 | $10 | 10 | 10 |
| "Hey, lets go to Club Paradise! | 1-1 | $10 | 10 | 20 |
| "That was such bullshit! | 1-1 | $10 | (10) | 10 |
| "Good God your breasts are HUGE! | 3-2 | $10 | (10) | 0 |
| "No, I AM playing, can I get another drink over here?! | 3-2 | $10 | 15 | 15 |
| "Man, those guys are such dickheads! | 3-1 | $10 | (10) | 5 |
| "Hey, can I get a comp? | 3-1 | $10 | (10) | (5) |
| "Howie, quit picking fights dude. | 10-1 | $10 | (10) | (15) |
| "What do you mean Im cut off? | 10-1 | $10 | (10) | (25) |
| "This blackjack dealer cheated. | 12-1 | $10 | (10) | (35) |
| "Hey adorable, lets go get a room while they clean out my suite. | 15-1 | $10 | (10) | (45) |
| "What the f*&^ is up with these dice? | 20-1 | $10 | 200 | $155 |
