Pissed about the Pledge?SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Taking a hammer to one of the pillars of U.S. civic society, a federal appeals court ruled on Wednesday it was unconstitutional to ask schoolchildren to recite the Pledge of Allegiance and vow fealty to one nation "under God."Maybe I just grew up all liberal and such, but did anyone actually have the words "under God" in the pledge they were asked to say at school? It was always "one nation, indivisible, with liberty..." for us.
Frankly, I don't see pledging allegiance "under God" as being much worse than a school-sponsored pledging allegiance to the U.S. flag. If we are going to make a weak attempt to brainwash children in this manner, let's make them pledge to use condoms and not commit violent crimes for the rest of their lives.
Revised morning pledge:I pledge allegiance
to myself
and to the general success of the species.
I will require that a condom be worn before a penis is inserted into me,
and will in turn don a condom before inserting my penis into others.
I will not do physical harm onto other human beings;
I will instead attempt to ridicule and belittle them, causing pants-pissing;
or perhaps I will just beat a dog,
stray or otherwise.
With liberty and justice for all.
