CAPT Heinous on WORLD PEACE
Well, I think I must be some sort of simpleton or perhaps just a redneck. I really don't understand what all the fuss is about in the Middle East. My understanding is that this whole nonsense is some sort of territorial holy war. Well if religion is involved, I just don't get it.
I mean, when the Lord's Day rolls around, my decisions are ususally fairly straightforward. First, I have to get rid of the awful pain that a fifth of Mandarin Vodka and Red Bull left when it collided with my liver. Then, Lord willing, I need to decide where to do my worship. Now, if I feel like singing with my brothers and sisters of the cloth, with a lot of greeting, hand-shaking, and story telling, I will go to a Baptist service. If I smell a little too much like a hijacked Jaegermeister truck and want to keep a lower profile, I will go Methodist. Here you can sing while sitting and get in and out without too much personal communication, but at a price of higher offerings. Now if I really look wrecked, I can blend in perfectly at the Episcopalian service, where everyone else looks wrecked too. If I am STILL wrecked, I can just bump over to a Catholic mass and everyone will understand, and perhaps even feel sorry for me. If I just don't care, I can blow it off and wait till next Saturday and go to the synagogue.
What I do know, however, is that in this decision, there are no turf wars between the rival factions fighting for my presence. There are certainly no guns wielded or lives lost because I did not show up to their service this week. What the hell are these idiots in the Middle East so pissed off about?
