1/4-year predictions for 2002
1. Spicy mole Burritos will surpass hamburgers as America's favorite food.
2. Osama Bin Laden will start new daytime talkshow on Al Jezera network. 1st episode will outperform MTV's, The Osbornes. Show will be cancelled after three episodes due to ratings.
3. 1st teacher in space will discover that there is more money in the speaking circuit than there is in public education.
4. Mojito: Out, Tequila Gimlet: In.
5. THC pills available OTC.
6. US will exercise hidden IMF loan clause and buy up all outstanding shares of Venezuela. Rep Trafficant will be named Governor.
7. Love-handles and cellulite will be "in" for brief 2 month stint and will loose favor almost immediately, replaced by nation-wide fascination with stretchy robots.
8. Acid-washed Jazz, a combo of Jazz and Country music will permeate the airwaves.
9. San Francisco will become a sleepy town of 100,000 (mostly migrant farmers). Real estate prices will continue to drop to 75 year low.
10. The moon will turn to blood and the four horsemen of the Apocalypse will ride into your neighborhood.
